I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
