I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
