She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
