it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
