ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
