I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
do nipples grow back?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
