I should be sponsored by Trojan
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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