I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
