omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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