two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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