no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
