Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
