We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
