My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
