I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
