then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just invented taco cereal.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
