Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
