I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
