i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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