She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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