let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
pop tarts are not kleenex
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I am available for nakedness
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
God, I missed his penis.
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