found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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