I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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