so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
