I wish I could teleport
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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