a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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