Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
