I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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