I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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