I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
