You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
