Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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