Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
