Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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