just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
