I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You pole danced in your parka.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
