i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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