i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
