Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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