before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
