Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
