I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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