Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
