He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
