I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
