Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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