Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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