If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
