just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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