Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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