Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
