found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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